Gay Matchmaking London

Gay matchmaking in a sprawling, busy city like London, is increasingly in demand. How do you connect to Mr Right when your close circle consists of one other gay man? Read below for the assumptions people make about gay matchmaking, why they often aren’t relevant and to learn more about The Echelon Scene!

You may have heard of online matchmaking agencies, but The Echelon Scene is entirely different. The Echelon Scene is a matchmaking agency for gay men only, who are seeking their equal partner in long-term love. It is an entirely offline service, where you benefit from the direct, hands-on service of world-renowned matchmaker and Founder of The Echelon Scene, Jacqueline Burns. The business operates predominantly out of London, England. The gentlemen come to the service because they are not finding like-minded gay single men in London for a long-term gay relationship. They may have tried online dating, or, they may find that they are too busy and do not have the time or inclination to go about finding a partner themselves. The gay men The Echelon Scene matchmake, would rather spend their valuable time off with friends or family or pursuing areas of enjoyment in their life. 

Another issue is not all gay single men are genuinely looking for a gay long-term relationship, or they may be looking for a gay long-term relationship, but they are not looking for a monogamous relationship. The Echelon Scene, we work very hard to ensure that all the men we work with are pursuing the same goals. 

Jacqueline meets every single gay man and goes through a detailed process to get to know each man as an individual, to ensure they are a fit with the gay men she works with. These gay men are passionate about what they do, want to meet their equal partner in love, travel around the world, keep healthy and active and are genuinely looking for love. Once Jacqueline has got a clear analysis of your character, behaviours, values, energy, non-negotiables, no no’s, what you find attractive and has created an outline for the search, the search begins. Each gentleman will receive pictures before each date and a full description. The only thing The Echelon Scene does not share is company names and surnames.

Are the gay single men at The Echelon Scene in London genuinely looking for relationships? 

There are a common misconception and stereotype of gay men which The Echelon Scene is keen to debunk. Many straight people have a preconception of gay men being promiscuous and non-committal. Even other matchmaking agencies have asked Jacqueline how she copes with the men she works with always looking for the next better thing. Jacqueline simply answers in the only way she can - this isn’t an issue. The Echelon Scene exists to matchmake men in long-term, monogamous relationships. Perhaps it is because the business is clearly for gay men and gay men only, so there are no closeted men approaching the business for dates outside their marriages to women. Or perhaps it is because it’s also marketed clearly for long-term relationships. Or perhaps it is because each gay single man sits down with Jacqueline at length to discuss their wants and needs for a gay long-term relationship. The Echelon Scene just isn’t of interest for men seeking a short-term bit of fun. On the odd occasion, men with different goals do stumble across The Echelon Scene, Jacqueline kindly refers them over to more suitable services such as Grindr or Tinder.

Similarly, although they work for some, gay men who approach The Echelon Scene are not looking for an open relationship. It is not Jacqueline Burns’ area of expertise and many of the men she has worked with over the past 9 years have struggled to build the lasting relationship they desire with the added complexity of an open arrangement. The Echelon Scene keeps things traditional and monogamous, as that is what their Clients want.

Will I know every gay man in London?

Gay men in London that Jacqueline works with tend not to be ‘on the scene.’ She has had (many) meetings with gay single men who ask her ‘am I going to know everyone in your network?’ This question makes Jacqueline laugh. She has a network of thousands of gay single men looking for a relationship, spread across all facets of London. Most of the gay single men she works with are NOT on the scene. They work too hard and their friendship groups are a mix of straight and gay friends. They get together with friends for dinners and are generally low key. Great for relationships, hard to find. Luckily The Echelon Scene spends all their time searching and meeting gay single men, consistently expanding their network. There is no split in the time of working with straight men and women or lesbian women; the single focus is gay single men. Saying that, Jacqueline has met gay single men who are now genuinely looking to meet their compatible long-term partner and have openly said, ‘a few years ago, I would have never met you.’ These men might have been on the scene, spending Thursday nights in 5Hertford and holidaying in Mustique or being at every art show and Basel and Burning Man. They might have thought every single gay man in that group was every single gay man around the world, but they soon realised this is not the case. They also may have realised that most of the gay men in those groups are simply partying and keeping up with the Jones’ and this is no place to find a compatible gay long term relationship. This is when they become more open to the idea of a focused gay matchmaking agency, which is where The Echelon Scene comes in. They may also switch up with their socialising and start spending more time with loved ones they can laugh with and trust. This is a great place to be in to start searching for your gay long term partner. 

Is the gay scene in London changing for the worse?

The Echelon Scene has a lot of nostalgia for the old Soho days where gay bars were full of all kinds of gay men. Jacqueline, The Echelon Scene’s Founder, can look back at being taken out to G-A-Y watch Titanic on projector with Girls Aloud megamix in the background. While the loss of Madame Jojo’s is still with us, we prefer to see change as a good thing. Right now we see a shift to gay men resorting to using gay apps instead of gay bars to hook up. But where do men go who want to find love? This is where Jacqueline comes in. Jacqueline hops around the world meeting on average two single gay men daily and then tells matches about each other in detail. This re-introduces the personal touch of gay clubbing with a level of filtering that gay apps cannot offer. Also, on a positive note, we see a big shift toward gay men being able to admit that they too want to find love and sometimes (oftentimes) marriage and children.

Is the European mentality to gay dating better than the American?

London life is busy, but not as busy as it is in places like New York. People value their off time and make it a priority. However, the rain and the grey mean just driving over in your car to your friend’s house to sunbathe isn’t really an option as it is in LA. Gay men who are busy want the balance of everything. They need to work, see their friends for dinners, spend time with family and see friends. The spontaneity of NYC doesn’t exist in London dating, where people have their diaries booked. However, the mindset that life is better when in a relationship is overarching. Men in London don’t want to date for dating sake. The men Jacqueline meets want someone who can come to the country with them on weekends or can come to that work party with them in 3 weeks’ time. They want to make sure that the person can hold their own with their friends and won’t sit in a corner not knowing where Istanbul is or who Eckhart Tolle is. London gay men The Echelon Scene comes across want to meet someone who they can share their life with.

Are the gay men in London generally from all over the world?

Many of the gay men Jacqueline meets in London are very International, reflective of the London mentality The Echelon Scene embraces. Many of the matches Jacqueline has made are often with men who have moved to the UK from other places and settled here. Or, if men are from the UK, they are well travelled or perhaps have lived in other cities for a time before they come back. This is because the men Jacqueline matches tend to have a global mindset and view the world as though it is a small place to explore, not a big scary place they have never been to. As long as two people’s characters complement each other, their energy matches and their values coincide, the match can work. For some, they may be looking for that English sense of humour, but that can be found in an American who has been living in the UK for 15 years. For others they may be attracted to the opposite, a dark-haired spontaneous Italian man drawn to a fair-haired more structured German. The root of the decision comes down to why. If you generally like Italians because you want to meet someone warm, The Echelon Scene can deliver this match to their Clients - even if the match may not indeed be Italian. As long as the man is passionate about what he does, genuinely looking for a relationship, sophisticated and attractive, they are welcome at The Echelon Scene.

How do you filter through the multitude of gay men in London?

London gay dating is a mixed bag and with such a big city, there is a lot of choices. Jacqueline Burns knows how to filter matches and get people not to focus on the wrong factors. Luckily, with the men she works with, they are not basing their search on a checklist of criteria mainly focused on physical traits. The gay men she matchmakes for know that what makes a relationship work goes well beyond appearance. A lot of men will have preferences on factors such as height, but apart from that the search to find a gay husband in London is very much on finding a man who you can share your life with long-term. This means someone whose lifestyle fits with yours, someone you can talk to, laugh with and respect as your equal. These are all factors Jacqueline can look at in detail, saving her Clients the time on going out on lots of pointless dates.

How can you be sure people are being safe when dating?

Many straight agencies and straight people in general focus on the negative aspects of gay dating. And these are important. But the gay men at The Echelon Scene live healthy, safe lives just as a straight man or woman. Life in London as a gay man isn’t always simple, but the men at The Echelon Scene are in a great place. Everyone has been through different experiences coming out, living as a gay man in the city and working and dating. However, they are all safe and positive in their own lives. Matters such as HIV are of the utmost importance to The Echelon Scene. We ask every single gay man if they have HIV and of course, ask gay matches if they would meet someone who has HIV. The rhetoric around HIV has, of course, changed entirely and many gay men are on prep. However, there are also gay men when dating who decide they would like to date someone HIV negative only and want to come to The Echelon Scene to ensure everyone they meet is. Each individual has their own preferences when gay dating and Jacqueline accommodates each preference. She develops a close relationship with every single gay man she meets and this allows them to open up to her and share their life with her so that she is introducing them to the exact right single gay man in London for them.