When it’s time to move on - Gay Matchmaking Agency - London New York Berlin Toronto - The Echelon Scene

At The Echelon Scene, we would like to say that every single match is a success immediately, but sadly for us and for our Clients, that is not always the case. It can take a few introductions to reach the sweet spot. So, for the single gay men out there kissing the frogs, before we introduce them to their Prince… here is some advice and encouragement, for when to move on and what is right and what isn’t, when dating.

When the situation becomes more ‘complicated,’ than fun, when is the best time to walk away? Jacqueline Burns encourages all of her Clients to be patient with one another and open hearted, but at the same time, there must be boundaries.

If you’ve started focusing more on their emotional needs than your own- it’s time to move on. The relationship should be balanced, so don’t become someone’s counsellor or carer in what should be the honeymoon period. You can’t fix him, move on. If one person is putting in more than the other consistently, then things have become off balance. When trying to find love and dating, one must always be confident in themselves and act from a place of self-worth. You deserve more.

If, (between date 1-5), the person you are dating is changing your plans and making you dance around their schedule repeatedly. Walk away. Time is precious and they should be respecting yours.

If your date is making you feel restless and dissatisfied, then you need to walk away. If you’re not getting what you actually want out of the relationship, what is the point? You should mirror each other and if they aren’t investing in you fully, you shouldn’t either.

If, the pattern of communication changes and becomes less frequent, you have the right to flag this up. Not in an aggressive tone, but lightly and playfully. If it doesn’t change, it’s time to move on. Things are not always simple at the start of every great long-term relationship, but the good should far exceed the bad. The both of you should find your flow of communication over time, naturally seeing each other more frequently.

Jacqueline Burns’ new favourite breath work coach James Dowler uses breathing to alleviate emotional issues, improve people’s physical health and connect them to a deeper understanding of themselves. Many people, when first dating, don’t know these sides of the person. Typically, we make someone else’s issues about ourselves;

‘I messed up the date’ or ‘I'm not good enough’ or ‘He’s met someone else.’

But life is complex and if the gentleman you’re dating hasn’t done inner work, their actions may be self-serving, and your needs won’t be met. Thankfully, with the men at The Echelon Scene they are ‘relationship ready.’ Each Client works with Jacqueline to start a healthy relationship, which is balanced and can stand the test of time.

Long-term commitment needs some element of stability from the start. Many of the single men Jacqueline works with live very fast paced lives and are go getters. However, she has noticed that the need for independence and excitement for life, can get in the way and hinder her Client’s equal needs for a real connection. Sometimes slowing down, even just slightly, can allow us to experience life and connect more deeply with people. This is something COVID-19 has taught us all.  

The conclusion is, everyone should feel safe and loved when dating. This brings out our best selves. If that is not how you are feeling, please don’t cling on to what things ‘could’ be, or how much you like the person. Let go of what is no longer positively serving you. This will be replaced with something better. And luckily, there is a gay matchmaker out there to help you with that! In these types of scenarios, Jacqueline likes to say to her Clients ‘onwards and upwards!’ Don’t doubt yourself, listen to yourself, check in with and nurture yourself. There is never any need to put yourself in harm’s way for love. Love can be thrilling and safe all at the same time. If you need more advice, please contact Jacqueline directly on 07789022402.