Vulnerability and why it is so important in gay dating - Gay Matchmaking Agency - London New York Berlin Toronto - The Echelon Scene

Vulnerability is a word I hear used a lot in the states. It’s not a very commonly used word in the UK or Europe. And there’s a reason for that in my opinion. It’s because vulnerability isn’t valued very highly outside of the USA and North America. At least not in the same way. The definition of vulnerability is opening yourself up even at the risk of harm, which is definitely not the most English trait. The stiff upper lip approach seems to underly behaviours still in the UK. However, I am beginning to see just how beneficial being vulnerable actually is for my Clients.

This is because I tend to work with go getters, healthy, driven individuals who feel good. It isn’t always possible to feel good though. Life has a way of surprising us with it’s twists and turns and that’s where vulnerability comes into it. Dating when on top of the world might be extremely different if one was to date when at their lowest (which I wouldn’t recommend). But, it has an impact on who we go for and what qualities we value. Ultimately, it’s important to find someone who challenges you and makes you be the best version of yourself but also, who you want around you when the chips are down and who you can be vulnerable with. And showing that side of yourself will only bring you closer.

Yes you may be dating the most handsome men, with the best jobs and who want the same things as you – but if they can’t support you and you don’t feel comfortable showing them you at your lowest, the relationship will not stand the test of time. This is why being vulnerable is essential. Am I saying go to a first date and tell them every last personal detail about yourself and your emotions? No, of course not. What I am saying- is be honest and share yourself, at risk of harm. If you want to get married and start a family and the person opposite you says they don’t, be honest. If you have a health issue and it drags you down, it’s OK to share that. You want to date until you find the person that loves you for you and you want next to you throughout everything.

I know that I say this in nearly every blog I write, but this is truly more of an issue for men than it is for women. Sometimes the men I speak to are great at being vulnerable, some it takes longer to draw out. And that’s OK. But be aware if you are a little bit closed off. And try. I work with emotionally intelligent men who want to see the true you and will know if they are not. And more importantly, who want a real, close relationship- which involves really seeing who you’re dating and loving them for the good, the bad and the ugly. Let’s be honest, life can be hard sometimes and we all need love and support. If you would like some help finding that person you can turn to and vice versa, please reach out directly.