Spring time loving - Gay Matchmaking Agency - London New York Berlin Toronto - The Echelon Scene

With the clocks soon changing, spring upon us and summer not far away, 2023 is whizzing by before we know it. So how do we spring clean our lives and let go of old habits and patterns that have served their purpose?

1.     Identify the patterns. A therapist can help with this. Do you continuously go for unavailable men, due to not getting enough love or attention as a child? Do you fall in love with just anyone at the drop of a hat because of an anxious attachment style?

2.     Work through the patterns. Speak to your past- whether that is to a parent, writing to a parent in a letter you may never send, or speaking to your inner child. Speaking to your inner child can be done through To Be Magnetic meditations, or hypnotherapy.

3.     Take action to move away from tests. We will be tested. So, will we fall back into old habits/patterns and go with the person who is unavailable, or isn’t right for us- just because they soothe us temporarily? Or, will we stand our ground and wait for someone who is right?

4.     Further identify what we do need. Once we have, these needs will really percolate over time and seep into our conscious mind. If at first you identify that you need someone kind, who puts your needs equally to theirs- you may not initially find it. But if you keep reminding yourself of that need, over time you will be put off by people who do not fulfil it.

5.     Set your boundaries and speak your mind. People we date are not mind readers and when dating you need to be clear with yourself and others. Sometimes people can adapt their behaviour if they know what they are doing wrong. If they say they will and nothing changes though, consider walking away. Or if they cannot see what they’re not doing right, this needs to change as well. Potentially through therapy.

You deserve happiness. Not someone perfect, but someone perfect for you. If half of your time is spent confused or talking to friends or family about what the person your dating is doing to upset you, something isn’t right. Find someone who has chosen to be with you, who considers you, considers what it takes to make a long-term relationship work and puts in that work every day. This is the least that you deserve.

For help finding that person, reach out to Jacqueline Burns.