Are gay stereotypes stopping you from finding your future gay husband? - Gay Matchmaking Agency - London New York Berlin Toronto - The Echelon Scene

September is the best month for dating and finding your future gay husband. There is always a back to school feeling, fresh starts and we naturally think of what we’d like to see happen in the months to come.  

If you are feeling dissatisfied and a bit like you’re chasing your tail and don’t know in which direction you should go on your path to looking for love. Write a list of your NEEDS. Think of previous relationships, what you needed which you received, or didn’t get. A want is someone who is 6ft a NEED is someone who you are physically attracted to. For some people, their wants and needs are aligned. But not for everyone. Sometimes they are opposing. So be sure to focus on what you really need emotionally, as well as physically. For example; more support, more freedom, more laughter.

If you’re searching for love and reading this, be sure to not be overly influenced by friends and family. Criteria our family sets for us, may not be relevant to our inherent needs. Do your family want you to end up with someone in a professional job, but you get on better with creatives? Do your friends all end up with people in your wider social circle, but you like dating men who add something new into your life? You are an individual and not a product of your loved ones, so remember that when considering.

Once you have done that, contemplate boundaries. I have discussed this in previous blogs, but it is key (especially for men, as many men haven’t worked these emotional tools as much in the past) to identify, experience and express feelings. It is after we have done this, that we can begin improving emotional boundaries. Has someone you had been dating said something hurtful? Write down how that makes you feel and how you could deal with that, non confrontationally, so you don’t keep it locked inside. Waiting for the right time (it always presents itself) to calmly let the person know that what they said did or did negatively impacted you is key. Our belief at The Echelon Scene is it is better out than in.

Then, consider your inherent beliefs. Are you becoming a bit of a negative Norman? Do you find yourself making negative comments about dating or gay men such as ‘no men are looking for relationships,’ or ‘no gay men can remain monogamous.’ Here you must improve your conditioning which has built up over time and understand how your beliefs are now supporting your condition. Then you need to work towards more helpful ways of thinking. Instead of blanket negative cognition such as ‘all gay men cheat,’ change your thinking to ‘I have been cheated on in previous relationships and there is a stereotype of men cheating, but I got unlucky and cant wait to meet the right man.’ Remaining positive and not awfulising situations is so key when in the dating game. Especially as people are attracted to positive, light and fun energy at the start of dating.

These tips cover a range of concepts, so hopefully there is something helpful in there for you. If you would like more information on goal setting for relationships, setting boundaries and dealing and resolving current issues or thought patterns, please reach out directly to Jacqueline and she would be happy to discuss her research with you more thoroughly, for free.