Self Love - Gay Matchmaking Agency - London New York Berlin Toronto - The Echelon Scene

Loving yourself is a complex issue. It’s a pretty basic phrase ‘you have to love yourself first’ but let's delve into this deeper. Yes, to show up in a relationship it is helpful and key to have love and respect for yourself and have boundaries. But where does that begin, before you even start dating?

Firstly, there is a fine line between loving yourself and being cocky and masking insecurity. Do you TRULY believe that you are worthy of love? How do you speak to yourself? Do you have a scarcity complex? Do you look around you at others and compare yourself to them? Answering these questions is the first step. If you struggle with any of these issues, I would recommend reconnecting to yourself, re evaluating, journaling, meditating and most importantly finding the right life coach or therapist that suits you. Do the work. And please, don't just hire a 'yes' man - a therapist who tells you that you are right all the time and perfect. The point is to grow and heal.

Self love will connect you to likeminded individuals.

The next step, once you begin to attract new people into your life, is to know that there will be tests. There may be people you attract along the way who trigger you from your past. You do not have to live with these triggers or heal or change these people. You can simply move on and ensure you’re surrounding yourself with healthy relationships. Once you find those healthy relationships it is important to remember, that no one is perfect.

Then, when dating, there will be an element of back and forth at the start- and this is where it is key to remain in your power. Do not let your energy leak, or question yourself. Remember, how others act is really to do with themselves and their insecurities or past and not to do with you. So, if you are dating and you feel insecure, refocus, regroup- and remember your worth. If someone doesn’t see your worth that is actually NOT an issue- there are plenty of others who will! Onwards and upwards is a phrase that we like to use at The Echelon Scene when a match doesn't quite work out. And we have PLENTY of fish in our sea. Part of growing and maturing is realising that you may not be for everyone you date and that is OK. Your aim is to the find the right person for you, not to fit a square peg in a round hole, prove a point to yourself and ultimately end up unhappy a couple of years down the road. You are a precious individual and yes you deserve to feel excited by someone- but you also deserve to feel loved, safe and secure from the get go with the man that you date. Do not waste your sacred time or energy trying to change people, or gain approval. Put that energy into yourself, build yourself back up and get back out there.

Believe and just know innately that you are deserving of love. Focus on your own path, no comparisons to others, treat yourself and others with compassion- and it will come.

To learn more about how to return to self or our network and how we can help, please reach out directly to Jacqueline Burns.