Self-image and dating as a gay man seeking love - Gay Matchmaking Agency - London New York Berlin Toronto - The Echelon Scene

There can be a lot of pressure to look a certain way as a gay man when single and dating. Food, exercise, diet, and the way we feel about ourselves all have an important part to play in self love and finding love. If, for example, we deprive ourselves of food it can be a sign of control, or if we have no appetite it can be a sign of unhappiness, as can an overindulgence in food can show signs of self-soothing or seeking love. Many of our Clients at The Echelon Scene probably veer more to structure around diet and exercise, but in moderation. It is actually a topic we discuss with all members prior to joining with us. There is a strong desire amongst a lot of the men we work with not to be with someone who spends all of their time in the gym taking selfies of their abs and posting them on social media. No disrespect and I’m sure those guys look great. However, I see the root of this and the subtext as being ‘I want someone with a balanced life, so that we can have a balanced life.’ On the other side, I have noticed those who are high energy and extremely active more in terms of sports, hikes, biking etc. often require someone who shares this. I can think about one particular Client I have worked with who absolutely falls into this category and would definitely be seen as type A. Exercise and activity is just another outlet for him to push himself to extremes and succeed.

There is a lot of weight placed on image as a single person. However, I believe those that have weighed up their list of criteria and whittled down the key qualities that they are looking for to be physical qualities, are the ones that struggle the most in finding love. Similarly, those who work only on their physical selves in hope to attract a partner, seem to run into trouble. There are a handful of men I have worked with over the years who have non-negotiable, highly specific, physical ‘types’. Even if they do enter a relationship with their perfect person (physically) on paper, this frequently involves a compromise of key values and the relationship is often doomed to fail. That is not to suggest that one shouldn’t be fully attracted to their partner, quite the opposite. It is to say, that basing ones search around physical types, is a risky move. And to the person in the gym working on their body every day to find love, be sure to work on all aspects of yourself to attract a partner who is compatible to all sides of you. You deserve nothing less.

If you would like to explore this topic more deeply, or argue or agree- please feel free to reach out to Jacqueline Burns directly.