Healing the inner self and self-love. - Gay Matchmaking Agency - London New York Berlin Toronto - The Echelon Scene

Often, in times of uncertainty and stress we can look outwards to those around us for love and support- which is not a bad thing by any means. But today it would be great to speak about giving ourselves that love we seek from others. And how beginning to seek love from a place of calm and true inner confidence, is the best way to find the healthiest most loving long term monogamous relationship possible.

But to begin to show yourself love, one must first question, why this is so key? Knowing oneself and what triggers us, what lifts us, when we need rest, what will help us grow and what will stifle us- that is all essential when ultimately in a happy, healthy relationship. When we live in the present and in our power, we can move through life in a positive, calm, empathetic and supportive way. If you are feeling a lack of love in your life you must first give yourself that love. Otherwise, you could end up in a co-dependent type of relationship where you rely too much on your partner for your happiness and your self-image is reliant on your partner.

So, how to give yourself love? We looked at life hack’s article on self-love to gain some learnings and we learnt:

1. Don’t always strive for perfection. Being yourself is OK and if people don’t understand or like it, that’s OK too.

2. Be grateful: knowing how far you’ve come and appreciating the moment you’re in is so important. Instead of looking behind you at what is no more, or too far forward at what you don’t have, take joy in what you do- the kind text message sent from a friend, or the sunny day on your walk to work.

3. Look forward with expectation- stand firm in yourself and don’t let the little hiccups derail you.  

4. Surround yourself with people who understand you and where you’re at right now, people you can trust, who lift you up.

5. Give up on seeking approval from others and people pleasing. Work on letting go of subconscious things we are holding onto from the past will help us to be happier and more present in the future.

Ultimately when you feel frustrated and in want of something more, more answers, more love, more happiness, or a relationship- it’s much easier to grab your phone and start scrolling through dating apps and place all your focus on hope for the future. Which is good in some ways- positive thinking and manifestation is key. But sometimes the hardest thing is just sitting with yourself, your needs and breathing. Recentre yourself, rest and heal – and trust in the universe. Or a matchmaker! :) If you would like more information on how we work, or how to centre yourself before embarking on trying to find Mr Right, please reach out directly to Jacqueline Burns.