Just because you are nailing life, doesn't mean that you are perfect. - Gay Matchmaking Agency - London New York Berlin Toronto - The Echelon Scene

Just because you are nailing life, doesn't mean that you are perfect. - Gay Matchmaking Agency - London New York Berlin Toronto - The Echelon Scene

Just because you are nailing life, doesn't mean that you are perfect. - Gay Matchmaking Agency - London New York Berlin Toronto - The Echelon Scene

Just because you are nailing life, doesn't mean that you are perfect. - Gay Matchmaking Agency - London New York Berlin Toronto - The
        Echelon Scene

Just because you are nailing life, doesn't mean that you are perfect.

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Here are 5 top tips to help you settle happily into the relationship you want, but can’t quite seem to get.. because you’re standing in your own way:

2021-07-08

I’ve seen with the gay single men that I work with some truly amazing guys, some amazing careers, experiences, bodies, clothes and achievements. However, I’ve also seen a lot of loneliness. It doesn’t take a professional matchmaker to observe that all the goings on in the world are serving to bring us further apart, rather than closer together. I’ve spoken a lot about how COVID and the time we have had to self-reflect has benefited the men I work with and their focus on what is important in life. However, how do we turn that reflection into action and make our desires for a relationship a reality? Are we stuck in our ways and not compromising where we should be? Are we dating Mr Ideal and not Mr Right? And are we getting in the way or ourselves?

 In today’s blog here are 5 tips to help you settle happily into the relationship you want, but can’t quite seem to get:

 

1.     Try and think more with your heart than your head. For women it’s the opposite issue a lot of the time, but for men- especially the rational men we work with, who are high-achievers and used to dealing with life’s issues in an efficient manner and coming out trumps. Relationships don’t work the same way as cutting deals, no one will be exactly who you want them to be. But, do they make you smile, do you feel good around them? Those are the questions that you should be asking yourself. If you enjoy them, that’s enough. Which brings about our next point:

2.     No one is perfect, not even you. And just because you’re nailing life, doesn’t mean that you are perfect. You don’t need to be perfect to meet Mr Right anyway, because ultimately your partner doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s about finding someone you connect with. Look for the best in people and it will bring out the best in them. So many men come through our door and say they want to join BUT, but they need to lose weight first, settle in their new home first etc. etc... there is no perfect/ ideal time to find the one. The key factor is mindset.

3.     Give energy to what you want. It’s not enough to just want it. And that doesn’t mean serial dating, it just means focused energy. Be honest with yourself, communicate clearly with the person you’re dating, make an effort, be present. Then you know if it isn’t working that you have given it your best shot and it just wasn’t right. Avoidant behaviour to yourself, or in dating, is not beneficial to anyone and what goes around comes around. Create space, show up and treat people kindly.

4.     Try to fall in love with people’s subtleties. I say this often in the context of values. It’s also a reason why having had long term relationships can (not always, as we can create rules for ourselves based off of previous relationships) help in the search for a future partner. Because we know what really matters to us in a relationship. And it often isn’t the size of someone’s biceps, bank account, their job or upbringing, it’s actually their sense of humour, the way they show love, the little things they do which balance the little things you do- those are the qualities which make the relationship stand the test of time.

5.     Make sacrifices. Whether that’s your time or your expectations at the beginning. But going forward that has to be a daily choice. The most successful relationships are with two people who choose every day to commit to being in a relationship with one another, who gain satisfaction out of working it out, being a team and being in it for the long-haul, no matter what. Those are the men who make relationships last. Seeing each other for the good, the bad and the ugly and supporting the bad and the ugly and highlighting the good. And this is the true joy of a long-term partnership. Not taking your partner to a party and them being the most charismatic person in the room with the best calves, but your partner seeing you for who you truly are in a different way to everyone else and vice versa. If that's something that you truly want, please contact Jacqueline Burns, we can help.

Jacqueline Burns - Gay Matchmaker - The Echelon Scene

By Jacqueline Burns

Founder ofThe Echelon Scene

The Echelon Scene is an offline gay matchmaking agency for eligible gay men seeking a long term partner

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