Indecision - Gay Matchmaking Agency - London New York Berlin Toronto - The Echelon Scene

Some of the men we work with go on a date and within five seconds they know immediately if their date is a match or not. Some are slower to decide. At The Echelon Scene we have noticed the gay men we work with seem to fall into both camps 50/50. Neither response is better than the other. However, it brings into question the idea of decisiveness.

Firstly:

Can we really know within five seconds if the match is right for us or not? And should we give people a chance? Yes, we can gauge a lot from the first few minutes of a date. However, sometimes people can surprise us. Despite what people tell us, falling in love doesn’t always have to be love at first sight. It can be a slower progression gradually enjoying spending time together until there are stronger feelings involved. For those who are maybe a tad more judgmental or have barriers up, this is often the way they will fall in love as it allows for those barriers to be broken and both true characters to come through. Sometimes familiarity can allow people to relax, open up and see how life would be together. That instant spark can die very quickly if someone doesn’t have a complimenting character or shared values with you. At the same time, finding your partner attractive is key- and if that is not there- it may not work. If you love spending time with someone and find them handsome and you’re just not sure if the crazy fireworks are there- give it a go. If you simply do not find someone attractive, leave it there.

Secondly:

Is being unable to decide a blessing or a curse? Can we ever really make firm decisions anyway or does life guide us ultimately? The yogis always say, to 'let go and release control.' It is one of life’s hardest undertakings when society has taught us to plan, achieve and control. When dating, it is important to get the right balance of seeing dates clearly and not imposing who you want someone to be aka rose tinted glasses. Or the opposite, which is being judgemental, unsure and over protecting ourselves/ our time. Try to let someone show you who they are and follow your gut. Boundaries are key but so is being open to people. If you need help with this, get in touch and we can refer you to an amazing life coach who will help you achieve this balance. Oftentimes if we give ourselves time and space- the right answer will come to us.

‘When we make plans, God laughs’ can be relevant whether you are religious or not. Sometimes we aren’t sure where we will be in ten months’ time, or who we will be with- and that’s OK. Try to be as present in your life as possible, live each day to the fullest, relax, live in your truth and life will unfold how it is meant to. If you look around, you and it seems everyone is where they wanted to be – know that’s not true and we can never know what they are going through. You are someone’s 'goals' so just continue to be amazing at whatever it is you enjoy, and you will get where you need to be. Firm decisions will fall by the wayside if they aren’t right anyway. And good luck! Life and dating have twists and turns but we can’t enjoy the highs without the lows.