Balance - Gay Matchmaking Agency - London New York Berlin Toronto - The Echelon Scene

When dating, having a lot going on can be distracting from finding love. Whether it’s at work, family issues, health issues or just life, getting in the way. What is the right balance to having it all? Society now demands a lot from us, do well at work, stay in touch with friends, look good, find love and make it all look easy. But what happens when we aren’t oscillating at our highest frequency or one thing goes off kilter? How do we deal with that and date, all at the same time?

Firstly, life is always going to throw curveballs at us no matter what. So learning to cope with those effectively is key. Remaining calm, keeping perspective, communicating effectively, and grounding ourselves. This can be done through working out, meditation and therapy. A positive mindset in life and especially in finding love, is essential. Our thoughts determine our actions.

Are we living in fear? It is easy to tell ourselves no of course we are not. But if you truly look at your life, are you keeping yourself safe to avoid more issues, complications or uncertainty. Taking action- even if it's scary- to be where you want to be, is essential. You deserve to feel inspired and motivated. Sometimes life is about cruising when needed, and that’s OK. But follow what life hands you. Say yes to opportunities, open your mind and learn to let go and go with the flow. It will lead you to where you need to be eventually.

This allows us to keep moving forward, without getting thrown off path. Try not to let hiccups, set backs, or distractions take you away from your relationship goals. Issues that can consume you one week can be gone in a week or a year.

Let in what is trying to come into your life. Take note of what relationships you are jealous of. Take note of why. Take note of your values. Do you want a family? Are the men that you are dating Father material? Think beyond the nuances on date one or two which may seem different to what you are used to aka 'too chatty' or 'they were running late'- and imagine your life in 10, 20, 30 years with this person- what would that look like?

If people exit our lives in tough times, or at all- let them go and take the lesson from it. This sounds like obvious advice, but not enough people really sit down and reflect. Did this person teach you something about yourself, what can you change and do differently and what do you need more of in the future. Also when you come to a conclusion try sound boarding it off a friend or your therapist, just to check that you’re on the right track.

So, how do we deal with chaos and our search for love? Our advice is to create a dating journal- use it like you do a work diary. Factor in ten minutes every day to write how you’re feeling about finding love and what you’re visualising for the future. What are you learning about yourself in the journey to finding love and what you have done that day to say yes and take action to finding love and growing as a person? Get creative.

If you would like a sounding board please reach out to Jacqueline Burns direct or to learn more about matchmaking.