Ten tokens of advice before Valentine’s Day and after a year of COVID dating. - Gay Matchmaking Agency - London New York Berlin Toronto - The Echelon Scene

So this might not be a typical Valentine’s day, no romantic date with a compatible gay long-term partner at candle light in a crowded buzzy bar- those were the days! However, if ever we have been taught how to show, give and receive love – now is the time to put that into practice. This time of year, when it’s a little bit (a lot), cold outside, we are a little bit (a lot) stuck inside and we have been hearing the dreaded word coronavirus for nearly twelve months, let’s consider what have learnt and what we can focus on going forward, in our search to find a compatible gay long-term partner.

1.     Walks in parks are pretty fun after all. Our Clients are making the most of the beautiful parks and having a great time.

2.     We are much more resilient than we had realised. We made the most of Zooms just as we are now making the most of walks. We adapt. If there is a spark it will shine through, no matter where you are or how you are speaking.

3.     We don’t need to move at the rate we were going anyway. Admittedly it is almost hard to recall how we used to live, but this slowed down pace has its benefits. Time to think, breathe and consider can be great for our emotional wellbeing and building relationships. It doesn’t all have to be bad. We can learn to take stock of our actions and right our wrongs, rather than just bulldoze forward skimming past things, as we used to do. This is key for finding a life partner as we set boundaries, learn about ourselves, how we deserve to be treated and how to treat others.

4.     We are learning to make the most of the people that we have in our lives and what’s real and what’s not. If you had a good date, we no longer let it fizzle as we are too busy- we capitalise on it and lock it down. Excuse the phrase. Good people don’t come into our lives every day. So if someone does, make the most of it. If it’s real. Don’t lock something down out of fear of being single. That’s when we end up in the wrong relationship.

5.     Know that this period that we are in will end. Many people are making decisions based on the state of the world as it is. It may not feel like it, but this will end and when it does you don’t want to be stuck with a snap decision for a short-term gain. Keep your future clear in your head and remain focused on that.

6.     Don’t listen to others, if you feel something in your gut then trust it. If you feel something is wrong in a relationship, it typically is. But at the exact same time if everyone is telling you to move on, but you don’t feel it’s right to, then don’t. Our subconscious knows what is right for us ultimately. So, remain centred, follow your gut the and right people will come into your life.

7.     Write it down, write down how you are feeling. It is the most therapeutic thing you can do and will give you clarity. At The Echelon Scene we recommend meditation, free writing for ten minutes and then writing a list of five things to be grateful for and five things to manifest. When thinking of your ideal partner try to remain open and focus the search on values and avoid the superficial more obvious qualities like look and lifestyle.

8.     Know yourself and be happy with yourself first. This is the most obvious advice anyone can give, but it is the best. If you are an anxious person or an avoidant person you will find yourself in toxic relationships until you have come to peace and security within yourself. Ways to achieve this are- time spent alone, meditating, seeing a therapist, rest and you will know you have reached a relaxed place, as you will feel it.

9.     In addition to the above, to know yourself is to focus on YOUR values, character and energy. Not those of your ideal match. Many single men that we speak to focus 90% of their attention on their potential partner’s lifestyle and values. Superficial qualities (see point number 6). It takes a lot more introspection to look at ourselves, our values, character and energy. But is completely achievable.

10.  Talk to us. Reach out to Jacqueline Burns, The Echelon Scene's Founder for help and advice on dating during COVID. We are up, operating and busier than ever- happy to be matchmaking for gay men who are a little clearer on what they are looking for and a little bit more able to make finding love a priority. A difficult time, but ultimately one we can learn and grow so much from.