The Echelon Scene

THE

SCENE

LONDON    NEW YORK    TORONTO

You are exactly our niche.

Matchmaking for only the most eligible gay men, who want to find their equal partner in love.

A global service; personally and discreetly delivered by the Founder, Jacqueline Burns.

Money Talks, by Gay Matchmaker Jacqueline Burns

Gay Matchmaker Jacqueline Burns has seen that one of the leading causes of issues in gay long term relationships with high earning gay men, is finances. In the early days it's simple enough. To avoid the awkward shuffle for the bill we gay matchmakers often advise that the person who suggests the date, pays for the date. This however means the person earning less might be suggesting restaurants or bars a bit more low key than their partner might want. It is often nice a mix of high end and low key, but a lot of high earning gay men don’t like to feel restricted long-term by their partner. What often ends up happening is if one person is earning significantly more than the other, they are the one suggesting and paying for the date always. This creates an imbalance in the relationship long-term.

Once you're at that stage where asking your boyfriend out on a date involves less asking and more "Hey, do you want to maybe do something tonight?" (but before any notion of shared finances) and you mutually agree to get a nice dinner, who pays then? Heterosexual couples have traditional gender roles to fall back on, if they're not up to having a frank discussion, but gay dating involves more negotiation.

What happens on a micro scale at the dating level becomes a macro issue one you're looking at a longer commitment, especially once you move in and begin to share expenses.

When it comes to money, the consensus seems to be that there is no consensus. Successful long-term partnerships run the gamut from entirely shared finances to entirely separate finances, some go by percentages in a joint account, some go by type of expense. Where one couple would see separate finances as a lack of commitment, others see it as perfect for themselves and their gay life partner and see no reason why that should signify anything at all. The issue is when it comes to travel and lifestyle. Is one person compromising what they want to do because their partner cannot afford it?

Finances are not fun to talk or think about. It would be much easier to focus on your partner's best qualities and hope that your success as a couple will keep money from being an issue, but the only thing to do is to face it head on. Preferably before any major life changes like moving in together, marriage, or children.

Lifestyle is extremely important and finding someone who shares the same goals and long-term desires is crucial. This means finding someone whose spending, earning, saving, and opinions on sharing of funds matches, and is compatible. When gay matchmaking, financials are a key consideration because if your partner isn’t compatible it's going to lead to issues.

Despite the fact that there is no right answer, there is a right way of finding the right answer for you. If you want to get serious, you have to take this matter seriously.

Couples that have been together for ten, twenty, fifty years, will all be happy to offer advice ("What's yours is mine, what's mine is mine" was one such piece of advice I saw - and it worked for that couple!). Really though, most of us know what we want. Most of the high achieving gay clients that come to The Echelon Scene would be looking for an equal partnership. So, let The Echelon Scene go out there and find it for you! Contact Jacqueline Burns for more information about her clients.

By Jacqueline Burns

Founder of The Echelon Scene

The Echelon Scene is an offline gay matchmaking agency for eligible gay men seeking a long term partner